I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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