who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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