dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
