So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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