her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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