every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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