Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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