I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just gift wrapped bread.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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