Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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