I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
