Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
