What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What a dumb baby whore.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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