shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize