Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
