I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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