escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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