i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
