she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
