She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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