dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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