no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
