Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
