At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize