do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
