Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
