i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
