I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
