Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.