I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team