whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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