when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
