I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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