weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
