As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
