The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
