This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?