Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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