i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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