I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this boner is exhausting
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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