Yo dont text me then not text me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
