Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
