I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
