her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
