I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
