Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They took my balls.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just had sex on a roof
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
