Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
