Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
her facebook's as public as her vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
