Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
