so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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