I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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