All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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