how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
