considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
