does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
