so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
