You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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