spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
