the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
