So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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